i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
