I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
