She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize