Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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