'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
