You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
