we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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