When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
