I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
