wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize