What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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