oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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