Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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