4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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