Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I have fence marks all over my body
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
