It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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