i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
