well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
