Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize