Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
