Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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