quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
