Buhtt sex?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
His nipple licking is glorious
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