I'm gonna have a badass scar
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
