Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I didn't notice because vodka
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize