butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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