Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
