If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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