I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
