; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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