Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I didn't notice because vodka
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
