We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize