I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
