We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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