Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
