Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
