is your mom at the bar?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
