she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
