Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
