youre lurking in front of me
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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