I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
What a dumb baby whore.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
