I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
