there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
