I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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