I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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