therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You have to summon your inner elephant
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize