If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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