I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
