grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
