I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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