At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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