just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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