Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
