So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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