drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
