So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
