before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize
