Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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