can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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