why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
