if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
