Sponge bath it is.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I want a musical about memes.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
