somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
