Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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