i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
