U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
