I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
