just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
