It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize