you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
