i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
